I hate having to ask, but could you take Seiryu for a while tomorrow? I have to work.
Actually, could you feed him every day for me? I'll give you some of the money I'm getting for minding him. Shiranui took off in breach of contract and Seiryu won't eat anything I'm trying to give him. Only meat.
Bring him to training and whatever meat you have. I love Seiryu. He might also be stressed. I'm told these dragons are more clever than human infants and can understand their "parents" emotions more. How are you holding up?
I don't have any. If I had meat here I'd try to feed it to him, I wouldn't leave him hungry because of my own discomfort with it. But hunting goes too far.
[He knows she hates the 'parents' silliness over animals right? So she's not going to mention it.]
I'm absolutely fine. You were right about him and his instincts. But I was right too. He does think I'm totally incapable of doing things for myself here.
[He's taught hawks hunting since he was a child. It'll be fun. He can hunt whatever's in the forest for game, practice fire, and make the bows and arrows.]
[He's oblivious to her thoughts on parenting animals/dragons.]
That's not what he thinks at all. If anything, I think he's over idealizing you in his head and not seeing you as unique or as complex as this is. He thinks you deserve more than he can keep up with, so he pulled a Klaus and removed himself before you could do it for him. I already yelled at him how that's taking away your say in the matter. But I don't think I adequately explained the castes to you, and how that's affecting him.
Let's talk in person, if you still want. Otherwise just let me take Seiryu for a bit.
Respectfully, you don't know what happened between us lately, and I've already lost one valued friend today. I don't think I can bear to argue with you over it. Trust me when I say that he insulted my capabilities and ignored my values.
You know I'll always spend time with you but there's not much point in talking about this. I'll bring Seiryu over in the morning, yes?
He said that? Even the ideas in my head aren't my own now?
You have nothing to apologise for. Nothing. You tried to help me to understand that he didn't really want to be my friend and that we don't have so many shared values, and you did that even when I didn't want to hear it.
It's not that he is trying to take away your independence or freedoms. I cannot emphasize that enough. He's just trying to protect himself, and being stupid.
I told him I had an intense disagreement with you about what I was trying to say not coming out the way I wanted it to. [Shiranui MIGHT be right that she was not hearing him, but...] I told him that you're trying to understand and giving it 100%.
He said he's fine with coming in 2nd to your career, and I might have flipped a switch and ripped him apart for it.
I know if someone told me that I'd have almost killed them. And that IS taking away your choice in it. 100%.
He doesn't want to kidnap me. He wants to take away my independence with kindness. Put me deep deep in his debt then sulk if he wants something and I'm not compliant. Maybe Earther women would tolerate it but not me.
[She makes it to the tavern in impressively quick time. Same Tayrey as always - if she's been upset by anything, there's certainly no evidence of it on her face now. She does look serious, but even that - it's nothing compared to any of the terrible suffering he saw her go through a couple of times on the ship. She's just not as bright and smiley as when he last saw her.
Seiryu's being carried in a basket. The little dragon seems very tired, and quite sad, but he still takes notice of Nobunaga, lifting his head and giving a little chirp of greeting. Not quite as predictable as his human companion.]
Peace and prosperity.
I'm sorry you're having to hear about this mess. I'd have asked someone else if I knew Shiranui had already been complaining to you. I only needed the help with Seiryu, that's all.
[He was kind of more than a little annoyed when Shiranui said he was trying to be more respectful than most men of his time would be. At best, Shiranui forgot how heretical Nobunaga is, that even 500 years to the future isn't progressive enough for the Demon King, and so was trying to treat Nobunaga like someone who didn't know them both, at worst... meant it.]
Absolutely not. I'm glad you're here. I won't stop being friends with either of you, and I never want you to refrain from talking to me over something someone else says, whether him or Mitsuhide, or even Klaus, understood?
Hey little guy.
[Holds up a little bit of fire and moves to take the dragon, with a glance at Ari for permission.] If I give you my ring while we talk, can I get it back? [Chin tickles! And very warm hand pets!]
[To Ari without looking up, still tending to Seiryu because even if she thinks it's ridiculous, it's clear to Nobunaga that the dragon is taking this as hard as both the "parents." So he gently plays with the dragon to get him to calm down so he can rock him to sleep.]
I wouldn't say he was complaining. I think he needed someone to tell him he's allowed to feel things, whatever they may be. But I snapped at him. I knew he was feeling weak, but it's always my reflex to yell "get stronger," as if it's that instantly just a choice.
[Tickle tickle tickle!!]
I do still mean what I said. [About Kyo being a baby and immature.] But [Gently rocks Seiryu on one arm, half playing, half luring.] He wouldn't have been told it's okay to feel things before. This is something the monks are strong about. The idea of zen and not allowing for emotions. Instead, people just lock them up, or become like me and don't understand them.
[Or see it as weakness. A furrowed brow frown.] I think you're both hurting a lot right now and -- it's okay if you don't feel it. Because I never did. Never. Mitsuhide and I took damage and just kept going. Always. We have to. As soldiers. And Klaus just kept telling me it was there, and it was only when he could take some away that I noticed the difference, do you understand?
And I don't think... you were ever told, at least, I was never told, and Shiranui wasn't; it's okay to have that pain. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you went through a lot. It's proof of your strength, like scars, because you survived. And it's okay not to want it anymore, to fear things that cause that pain again.
Mahhh... well, I tried. I'm sure I'm not the best man for the situation, but then someone else just has to do better, and I'll learn from them.
And I don't want you to stop being friends with him, or anyone, and I don't want it to make your life difficult. I have no trouble working with someone I don't like. Mitsuhide insulted me but you know in the end I just told myself I'd put up with a lot worse to defend your rights. And he at least did me the courtesy of sending his insults in private. I can't believe what he did to you. You know if I ever did something you really disliked I wouldn't mind if you got angry. But if you publicly shamed me by asking everyone here what to do about me that's... more cruel than someone hitting me, or sending me away, or... well I was so angry he did it to you. But still I'll work with him if that's ever what you need.
[So now she wants to talk about Mitsuhide? Nice distraction. Seiryu's very happy with all the attention though and does seem to cheer up a bit. He's holding that ring tight in his little claws now though so good luck getting it back!]
Oh, Shiranui doesn't have any trouble feeling things. [Ari looks at Seiryu.] Shiranui fussed over talking to and cuddling an egg, called himself Seiryu's parent. Ridiculous, right? And you know how I feel about animals. It was for his sake that I agreed to the joint contract to look after a dragon. Now look at us - he left because of even more feelings, told me Seiryu's my full responsibility now. And I took it on, because I don't break contract, even if it's tough.
[Nobunaga will have seen the affection she treats Seiryu with! She's not cold about it. She just conceptualises it very differently.]
Maybe what you're saying is true about you, and maybe him, but not me. I'm not hurting right now. And I'm not secretly hurting and not knowing it! That's just a way to make your theory work instead of admitting people are different and we react differently to things. This is nothing, Oda. Really nothing. You've seen my weaknesses. You've seen me afraid. You've seen me despairing. Days when I was just angry I couldn't die. If I've got to worry about scars I can't see, they're sure not going to be coming from some Earther who didn't value me in the same way I valued him.
I told you about emotions on the Tradelines before, didn't I? Having them is fine, but you've got to be able to control them when you need to. Imagine if when I'd started I'd just cried every time Savitskaya raised her voice, what kind of a useless soldier would that have made me? You have to be strong to survive what we've been through, and that means having self-control. But I'm not suppressing some terrible hurt right now. I'm angry at him, maybe.
Yare yare... [He just tries to tousle her hair. She's allowed to duck or smack him. Either way.]
Mitsuhide's just testing limits. His job is to isolate threats to me. I do more embarrassing things to myself constantly. He wasn't -- [DRINKS!]
[Hoarsely:] Out of line.
I'd rather he treated me like a -- [Squints. PLAYS WITH SEIRYU!] Comrade. Shipmate. You said once it would be a problem if he treated you irreverently, but as I said then, he does that to everyone. He is careful with me, because I am a lot rougher.... rougher... right I'm more likely to stab him. [Bluntly looking her in the eyes before back to playing with Seiryu.] But our dream Tayrey... our contract, if you will, was to see Japan to peace, to end the civil wars. To start that kind of a world, even if he had to kill me to do it.
That dream is achieved. Our contract changes now. I don't know his new motivations yet. His new ambition. I doubt he knows it yet. I doubt it's fully sunk in the impact that we succeeded, against all odds, and what that means for us. Imagine if I could only return you to the Tradelines not at the right time, but not for another 40 years into the future of your timeline. It would take you a bit to adjust, right? And with Mitsuhide... his job if we finished, when we finished... was to still help Hideyoshi and come get me if I needed it or keep me in the shadows. So I'm sure he's thinking how to do that here.
Ahhh, not that I'm trying to defend him to you or anything. I warned him how you almost shot Yato, so not to prank you too much if at all. Wait. Did I say that on the ship or here? I will tell him again.
[He listens quietly to the rest about Shiranui, tickling under Seiryu's chin.] You don't even talk to him? Tayrey, all animals need their minds exercised as much as every other muscle. In the egg just gets them started on learning to hear even before hatching. Very smart.
Angry is... understandable.
Rum. You want some?
Shiranui and I feel things. Deeply, yes. But our society says we shouldn't even feel them.
Your society says to keep it behind closed doors and choose the timing. Your way is better, but because we didn't grow up with it, we just get overwhelmed. Trying not to feel, or not to let it overcome us. The monks meditate to prevent it, but we hate meditation, and therefore... [Shrug. So it just beats them inside out.]
Dragons are very important to the outcasts of Japan. You've seen his tattoo. I told you tattoos make you an untouchable in Japan. It's not just an animal. Dragons either don't exist in my world or I spent my life looking for them as much as oni. Dragons -- it's not just religious. It's cultural identity. Kitsune are the avatar of a Japanese god, Inari, the most popular one in Yato's world, not including Amaterasu herself, our sun. Shiranui will surely come back for him when he's ready. [More tickles under Seiryu's chin.]
I don't think that Shiranui hurt you. Much. Not enough that I was concerned and speaking of that.
I think being on the ship hurt you.
And that's understandable. It'd be... unnatural if it didn't. If you said you were just too strong for it to do that, I'd say then you're not you. You'd no longer be the Tayrey that went to the ship. The first day I met you, your biggest fear was you-know-whats and what they might do.
When I mentioned kidnapping, I was thinking of something that happened on the ship, a way I could have tried to make it less bad on you, and saying "that will never happen again," isn't good enough.
There's nothing in life that happens that you can't use to your benefit. If there's only one lesson you learn from Sun Tzu, let it be that. Life doesn't happen to you, you happen to life. It's not enough for me to return you to your proper time with your memories so that it's truly this version of yourself, I want you returned better and stronger than before, with more than just unarmed combat knowledge. So that you are grateful everything happened because you're more you for it.
Don't rush it. It can't be rushed. I know you want to get back as soon as you can, but this takes more time, so I'm glad we have it here.
You said you would shoot anyone who tried to kidnap you.
You know I've been kidnapped before, right? I don't just mean the ship, since I don't even view it the same way. You don't think that makes me weak, do you?
I don't want you to look at the ship and see it as the worst thing that ever happened to you. Just bad luck because a freak incident. And I don't want you think Earth is just all about kidnapping and lack of freedom. There's a lot of freedom. You've met C- bad example. [Klaus...? Ehhhhhhhhh... He holds up a hand.] Actually maybe it is. Fuck it. [CHUG!]
Okay. It's not that it's lack of freedom for everyone. It's that there's a constant -- I'm being poetic with this term war on whether people have their freedoms or what is in violation of that. Understood? [Pinches between his brows. Nods!] I appreciate you're as strong as Hideyoshi and willing to commit a large number of homicides to protect me. I do. [SMILES. It's sad that he means that....] But you know... generally try not to. Because even if you justify it as clear enemy combatants, and tyrants, and monsters, it's best for both of us if we can use even the kidnappers for our own gains. It's like how I don't see the ship as kidnapping me, I see it as, I used that to hitch a ride to where I really want to go.
And I think you were -- don't get me wrong. [Holds a hand up.] Understandably,, all right? I think you were understandably worried about all of it, the rights, the freedoms, the kidnapping, the sheer volume of [Holds up a hand of fire and playing with Seiryu, puts it out and grabs the dragon with the one hand when he tries to pounce it, tickling him again.] let's call it "pain" rather than argue over defining it, agreed? Pain, scars, memories, all of it. I think that got in the way of you seeing Shiranui's own -- [A headtilt. Pain. Worry. Fears. Trauma.] all that was going on internally. I know you would have caught it normally where I wouldn't have. [Taps a finger to his head.] I'm not that smart regarding that. That's why I messed up. But if I'm getting in the way of you or him, that's unforgiveable.
[Ari absolutely ducks, because don't ruin her very neat hair please Oda! She nods as he explains about Mitsuhide, because a lot of it does make sense to her. Not all of it, because a shipmate trying to tear you down in public isn't any better than anyone else doing it, but the uncertainty, the adjustments? That she can understand.]
He doesn't think so highly of you. He thinks that unless other people control you, you will literally gorge yourself until your health is completely gone and people attack Azuchi because of it. He accused me of wanting to let that happen. But I know what your dreams mean to you and that you are not some animal with no self-control just because you like to eat sweets. You know how to prioritise. And if someone wants to weaken a leader then publicly talking about him as if he's a child and having people suggest ways to punish him does actual direct reputational damage.
[She laughs.] I think I called him disrespectful and insubordinate. [More seriously.] He called me a pirate. A nanban pirate, whatever that is. Did you tell him that was a way to hurt me? Because it didn't make a lot of sense otherwise. Maybe seeing me as some... phantom threat to Azuchi gave him a way to hold to his old contract, something familiar at a time where very little is.
[She'd told herself she wouldn't take that route again, try to understand why he was being so insulting instead of just writing him off - but Nobunaga's explanation means that she can't help but see it another way.
She nods when he mentions the rum, and signals to the bartender. The first shot of it she downs straight away, and then asks for more.
Ari does follow his explanation about the dragon, up to a point, but when Nobunaga mentions Shiranui returning when he's ready, her expression darkens.] No. No, he doesn't get to say he is breaching contract and leaving me with all the work and then return whenever he damn well feels like and expect it to be like nothing happened. I won't be treated that way. Seiryu is mine now. That was his decision, which he gave me no say in, and so he can live with the results.
[Another nod. Yes, being on the ship hurt her. She wouldn't tell this to Arthur, a stranger, but how can she deny it to Nobunaga who saw the worst of it?
Then he mentions being grateful and Tayrey just- her breath catches in her throat. There's a great churning wave of anger rushing right over her, because how could he? She raises a hand, and for a brief moment it looks like she might slam it down on the table. Or curl it into a fist and slam it into him.
No. No. It's a test. A test so very much harder than little apprentice Tayrey trying to hold back her tears when Savitskaya was especially sharp with her, but a test that a qualified Tradeliner shouldn't fail. She'd said she had control, so he's testing her. In public. Tayrey doesn't hit anyone or anything, but to her horror, that raised hand starts visibly shaking. Alright. Fix that. Hands in her lap, clasped tight. There, is that enough proof?]
I will never, ever, be grateful for being kidnapped and tortured. No. It doesn't make a person stronger. It does damage. Damage that I have to fight now because if I don't it'll lose me my place on the Tradelines. And I'm right that it will never happen again. Hopefully because I shoot anyone who tries. If not-
I never told you what happened when Crichton came to my ship, did I? I hadn't been there very long. Savitskaya was teaching me inward transition - how to know when to bring a ship out of L-space. Crichton distracted us and neither of us saw the sensor blip that meant there was an unknown ship in-system. Pirates. It was - Crichton was very brave, and he helped me to be, but I said to him, if it goes bad, you don't let them take me captive. You do what you have to, make it quick for me. I made him promise, and he did. You've seen war, you know all the things an enemy with no respect for rights could do to an apprentice girl. [And why Ari, who faced up to that at barely fourteen and fought the pirates anyway, is so affronted by Mitsuhide saying she's one of them.]
The ship wasn't... it wasn't that kind of open brutality, but it was a different type of torture. Most people couldn't face up to it. Eternal suffering if you don't escape - but they couldn't look ahead, so they just said oh this is better than home or not terrible right now and didn't want to consider that life on the ship is a tiny tiny blip compared to eternal Nothing. I had a more objective assessment.
[But this is irrelevant. It's over. It doesn't matter what either of them thought of that ship. If Nobunaga wants to look back and be grateful he was kidnapped - well, she has more decency than to ask about the other times. If he was tortured. If he was grateful for what they did to him. This is supposed to be about Shiranui, no?]
You're right that I was hurt. You're wrong that what I told Shiranui is the product of that hurt and not of sound reasoning. He told me that he assisted in trying to kidnap some innocent woman. If I wanted to speak out of pain I'd have told him that it was morally repugnant and he'd be executed on the Tradelines, no? Instead I did my best to understand, to see why it happened, to see that he regrets it now, and to respond calmly. But that's closed-minded to him still, because I didn't smile and say oh, violating women's rights is part of your culture, so I have no problem with it.
He told me he felt I was mocking him about the hunting, because I said no, and for him doing things like that is care. Doing things people didn't ask for or want. I explained to him again about fair contract. I'm happy to have his help under fair contract! Not to fall in his debt for things I didn't even want him to do. Like that man who wouldn't let me pay for the clothes he wanted to make me, so I had to say I'd do without them. But then - then it turns out Shiranui had this whole fantasy about going back to the Tradelines with me and being my contracted partner. Something he never once mentioned. Never thought that how I felt about it might matter. I'm supposed to be happy? I spent all that time with him thinking he was my valued friend and comrade, like you are. Shipmates. I thought that like you he understood that's the highest honor I can give an outsider, as a Tradeliner. He outright said he wanted more.
I wouldn't take him to the Tradelines. If he'd asked on the ship I'd have said yes, because I just saw a man who loved freedom and was willing to fight for it. Now - can you imagine how he'd be, trailing after me while I try to advance to command and he's stuck with - I don't even know what he could do on a starship, cleaning? I'm not in love with him. He'd give up his whole life wanting something from me that I couldn't give him, how long before that would turn to resentment and blame? As if I'd asked him to do it.
He doesn't understand me at all. Right before he left he told me I could have the contents of his house. Here, Tayrey, a great big unpayable debt to hang around your neck so you feel obligated to me and can do nothing about it! After I'd only just explained about that. I'm leaving it all there. I'm going to move somewhere else and take only my own things. Oh, but I'll put up the pulleys first. In case anyone else ever wants to live there. He said too - he's sure I can find someone else to put it up for me. As if I hadn't worked with him on every stage from drawings upwards! As if I couldn't understand how it worked, or was too weak or incapable to do it. That was what he took from me having his help with it in fair contract. Not that we were friends working together. [And to think Nobunaga wanted her to show vulnerability to him, how much lower would Shiranui's opinion of her have dropped then?]
[That's a lot of talking! Time for more drinking.]
[He grins softly when she says Mitsuhide doesn't think highly of him.]
[That is part of his job. To seem like obviously likely to betray him. But SAYING THAT would undermine Mitsuhide completely.]
Well you know, Klaus in my world was saying how he reins me in like Hideyoshi. And I couldn't for the life of me understand what he meant. The first two months I was on the ship, before you arrived, I did worry I would do whatever I wanted. Because I didn't have an army to protect. I ate nothing but ice cream and tried new things and kissed people's foreheads and Erin was -- doing a monk thing, and at first it reminded me of Hideyoshi, so I just wanted to be near it, because I missed him, but I interrupted her because I didn't want her to hurt herself.
If it wasn't for Klaus reining me in -- understand, he's not taking away my freedom, but reminding me that long term still matters even if it's not applicable to Japan.
I don't care about myself, I do care a lot about other people. Ah, keep that secret for my reputation. But Klaus knew, [Snaps his fingers with a small fire spark for more dragon entertainment.] like that, that I need someone to remind me... I'm not the king of all worlds yet. At home, I can do whatever I want. But it's all very Lion King. With that comes a lot of understanding about the cost. New place, no cost. It's you who reminds me if we don't have equal exchange then I'm just a tyrant, and the cost is just all the more steep in the future.
I would never say that. I would not even let him say that. I wouldn't have even mentioned it to order him away from making the comparison just in case the idiot took it as a dare. [You know he's angry, because Nobunaga praises Mitsuhide's intelligence 24/7. He drinks, eyes blazing, and holds up three fingers.]
Give me three minutes, no questions, just silence, to tell you word for word what I said here not there. I have to work harder to sort it, because it was right after he drank the potion and I was still annoyed about that.
"Tayrey is my second in command. She comes from a region among the stars where recklessness will kill you faster than even the Tenshuu era." That's our home era. "Tayrey is very smart, and very earnest, and almost completely like Hideyoshi except she was born a noble and ran away to become a soldier." [Hideyoshi met Nobunaga when he was a bandit. Was that it???? The mistake??? Mitsuhide was lower class, but Hideyoshi was... not even noble born. So much Tayrey doesn't understand about the castes. They don't exist in her sector. There's financial classism but thats still more meritocratic like Nobunaga. Did Mitsuhide think the Tradelines were pirates because space bandits????]
"She is at least on par with you for intellect. Don't worry about her naivete, she is stronger than she thinks or gives herself credit for. I strongly advise you do your best to get on her good side as best as you can because there is much even I can't explain," about space and stars, I told him some of that here and there. As best I could. "But she can. Shiranui is from our homeland, but 200 years later. He's her Mitsunari, but with guns instead of books." Ishida is Hideyoshi's vassal. "They both love guns, though this place seems to have taken our weapons. Tayrey will be very blunt and honest with you, like drunk Hideyoshi. She loves maps. But she's used to strict roles and constant work and purpose. Like Toyotomi."
I was kidding when I said maybe he thought candy was the best way to bond with you.
Hideyoshi-
Obviously I could order Hideyoshi not to, but he lectures me, and it's annoying, so he does not let me have konpeito whenever I want. I'd run out if I did anyway. So I do... did sneak down with my haori over my head and practice anti-ninja training, because I also had to be sneaky to get past Hideyoshi guarding me against assassins.
I'm totally stealthy. [Stubborn armfold.] Klaus went with me on one raid so I was able to trick Hideyoshi to bed.
I'm sorry Lieutenant. I don't know what he intended. I don't think he would have tried to hurt you after what I said. Not even if he's jealous and worried or angry that I seemingly replaced my right hand. There have been times I worried Hideyoshi might kill Mitsuhide, but never vice versa. Mitsuhide is very fond of Hideyoshi and would go well out of his way to help him at great personal cost.
Maybe he is upset about Hideyoshi. I don't... think he thought the best way to get on your good side was the great candy debate of Somnius. [Titling this now to bring some levity to it.] But I don't really know. You asked about people's homelands too. Maybe he felt the balance was off. He's always been my left, so I thought he both didn't want to risk me thinking I could flirt with him without suffering repercussions I would never want to deal with, and just trying to balance you out a little. But I can't promise that. I truly don't know.
I didn't mention pirates to him. If I had, I want to think he wouldn't have said that, wouldn't have even dared, contract change or not. [Fist over heart.] But right now? I don't know.
[He listens in total silence. Crichton's promise, the reason she will never be grateful. And fair. Very very fair. Nobunaga has been tortured yes. Granted, he wasn't as extreme as Klaus, but...]
[He gets it.]
[No. He's not grateful that he was betrayed or tortured. He never will be.]
Ah????
Part of your culture... it's not... cultural heritage to kidnap??? Um...
[Fuck him.]
I mean we call it--
No. Continue.
[He cannot defend "What's a little kidnapping now and again?" She's completely fucking right, and Hideyoshi, of all people would smack Nobunaga upside the head. "No kidnapping!"]
[She's completely fucking 200% right. He wants to help Shiranui. He does. But every single bit of it...]
[If the oni had tried harder with Nobunaga-- he told him Ari always gives him her 100%! At least Oda could have tried, said anything at all that she didn't already see or know.]
[But he doesn't have that knowledge.]
[She's right. Period.]
Kanpai.
[Just clicks his empty glass against hers.]
I'd make him my bodyguard. But there would be years between me establishing enough money to get a crew and sorting out the best policies and loopholes, and then having enough capital to make it profitable even after your contract ends. But at this point I don't think he wants --
That.
I think after Japan, after being treated like less than human his whole life, that's why he was scared, you know? He had to hide being an oni, and people would fear everything about that -- [Sigh.] You mean a lot to him, but I'm not sure he sees the real you. You're kind of like a goddess, remember? Celestial realm, the stars. You have all these grand visions of how people should be, a way that Earth just... isn't. Here, surrounded by non-humans, he said he's really happy to be useful, and not viewed suspiciously. He didn't view your questions honestly, and I said that's on him. But I still feel responsible [Hand up.] -- Whether I am or not, because I didn't explain tp you the castes I worked tirelessly to destroy. I worked to. I didn't succeed. Not... completely. And not for centuries. And his time slid backwards from what I even got.
That doesn't excuse him. If he really [Love. The big L-word that Americans throw around casually. Nobunaga loves Tayrey. She loves him too, platonically, as a Captain. But they both knew how much deeper nakama means than sex.]
[Carefully:] Had any capacity to, he should have tried to talk it through. And yeah that's my own fucking bias from Klaus, but as soon as I had the strength, I tried to. It hurt more than anything, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
You're really okay though? You don't need someone to... I don't know. [Face scrunch.] Have I mentioned how smart an ending date on partnership contracts is? I mean my parents wouldn't have gone for it. Gozen woukd have stabbed Nobuhide if he tried to leave her. [Casually. No big deal.] And Klaus and I just have ours rolling. But is there ever a protocol or tradition for contract breaches besides exile and fines? I mean for the person "injured." That's a legal term. Have I ever told you about Japan's legal system? You'd liiiike it. Even though the castes are stupid.
[Blink blink. He's not drunk.] I get like this with Hideyoshi when I've been drinking. [Like he's not like this when he's not.]
In contracts, if a person breaches, the one who didn't breach is called "injured" That's why I understood when people kept talking about trauma, but not cuts. So is there... protocol among friends or family? Like um.
[Tries to think what they do in Japan. He's got nothing. Fines and stuff, sure whatever, but that's about the criminal. See also: branding, tattoos, moving on.]
We could have a te-- coffee ceremony. Or a cleansing... thing. [Face scrunch because that sounds pseudo religious and gross more than symbolic.] Oh! Sometimes women and samurai cut their hair. In Korea a topknot means you're married. I asked Klaus if he wanted me to go with that and he said no, but when a person gets -- still alive but a break from their life they cut the length of hair for how long they were part of it to start fresh.
So like.... [Holds his fingers up to hopefully make her laugh or smile, though it's more the kind of joke Valdis liked.] This much?
To me saying someone is there to rein you in is insulting. I can see you don't mean it that way at all, about Klaus, but it's... more control. Maybe it's just that if you were from my sector you'd make the same arrangements by contract so it'd be clear that you agreed. Remember when I didn't like you playing Siffleur's game? I went to contract. And if I didn't convince you, you'd have been within your rights to say no Tayrey, don't try to restrict me, and I'd have had to accept that your life was yours to throw away and didn't belong to me. Even if I hated what you were doing.
[But she shakes her head when he assures her he didn't tell Mitsuhide about her trouble with pirates, and reaches out to lay a gentle hand on his arm. She's about to speak up and explain, but then he asks for three minutes, and of course she'll give him that! No interrupting.
He is far more complimentary about her than she expected! Of course being a perfectionist she worries that he calls her naive, but in a way that's good, too, because if it had been all positive things then she'd assume he just left out all the negative ones in the retelling. By the end of his explanation she's blushing a little, looking proud.]
You're very kind to me, telling him those things. I'm sorry I wasn't precise! I know you'd never tell Mitsuhide about pirates thinking that he should use it against me. I thought you might have mentioned it for neutral reasons and he'd have drawn the conclusion that it was a good way to insult or upset me. The same with talking about magic. Or even that you warned him against it but he did the opposite, because that wouldn't really surprise me very much.
[It's not the last shot, she's totally buying them more!]
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momijizukamori
text, after his talk with Shiranui
Date: 2023-06-16 06:05 am (UTC)I hate having to ask, but could you take Seiryu for a while tomorrow? I have to work.
Actually, could you feed him every day for me? I'll give you some of the money I'm getting for minding him. Shiranui took off in breach of contract and Seiryu won't eat anything I'm trying to give him. Only meat.
text, after his talk with Shiranui // Locked
Date: 2023-06-16 03:39 pm (UTC)Kyo. Not Seiryu.
Bring him to training and whatever meat you have. I love Seiryu. He might also be stressed. I'm told these dragons are more clever than human infants and can understand their "parents" emotions more. How are you holding up?
no subject
Date: 2023-06-16 03:46 pm (UTC)[He knows she hates the 'parents' silliness over animals right? So she's not going to mention it.]
I'm absolutely fine. You were right about him and his instincts. But I was right too. He does think I'm totally incapable of doing things for myself here.
So I'm just going to prove him wrong. No trouble.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-16 04:54 pm (UTC)[He's taught hawks hunting since he was a child. It'll be fun. He can hunt whatever's in the forest for game, practice fire, and make the bows and arrows.]
[He's oblivious to her thoughts on parenting animals/dragons.]
That's not what he thinks at all. If anything, I think he's over idealizing you in his head and not seeing you as unique or as complex as this is. He thinks you deserve more than he can keep up with, so he pulled a Klaus and removed himself before you could do it for him. I already yelled at him how that's taking away your say in the matter. But I don't think I adequately explained the castes to you, and how that's affecting him.
Let's talk in person, if you still want. Otherwise just let me take Seiryu for a bit.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-16 06:00 pm (UTC)You know I'll always spend time with you but there's not much point in talking about this. I'll bring Seiryu over in the morning, yes?
1/2
Date: 2023-06-16 07:42 pm (UTC)2/2
Date: 2023-06-16 07:47 pm (UTC)He said it was my fault for putting idiotic (my word, not his) ideas in your head.
So I'm still sorry.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-16 07:57 pm (UTC)You have nothing to apologise for. Nothing. You tried to help me to understand that he didn't really want to be my friend and that we don't have so many shared values, and you did that even when I didn't want to hear it.
I'm the one who should be apologising.
Meet me at the tavern?
1/2
Date: 2023-06-16 08:35 pm (UTC)Yes, please.
2/2
Date: 2023-06-16 08:48 pm (UTC)It's not that he is trying to take away your independence or freedoms. I cannot emphasize that enough. He's just trying to protect himself, and being stupid.
I told him I had an intense disagreement with you about what I was trying to say not coming out the way I wanted it to. [Shiranui MIGHT be right that she was not hearing him, but...] I told him that you're trying to understand and giving it 100%.
He said he's fine with coming in 2nd to your career, and I might have flipped a switch and ripped him apart for it.
I know if someone told me that I'd have almost killed them. And that IS taking away your choice in it. 100%.
1/2
Date: 2023-06-16 08:59 pm (UTC)He doesn't want to kidnap me.
He wants to take away my independence with kindness.
Put me deep deep in his debt then sulk if he wants something and I'm not compliant.
Maybe Earther women would tolerate it but not me.
2/2 and ACTION
Date: 2023-06-16 09:08 pm (UTC)Seiryu's being carried in a basket. The little dragon seems very tired, and quite sad, but he still takes notice of Nobunaga, lifting his head and giving a little chirp of greeting. Not quite as predictable as his human companion.]
Peace and prosperity.
I'm sorry you're having to hear about this mess. I'd have asked someone else if I knew Shiranui had already been complaining to you. I only needed the help with Seiryu, that's all.
ACTION
Date: 2023-06-16 09:52 pm (UTC)[He was kind of more than a little annoyed when Shiranui said he was trying to be more respectful than most men of his time would be. At best, Shiranui forgot how heretical Nobunaga is, that even 500 years to the future isn't progressive enough for the Demon King, and so was trying to treat Nobunaga like someone who didn't know them both, at worst... meant it.]
Absolutely not. I'm glad you're here. I won't stop being friends with either of you, and I never want you to refrain from talking to me over something someone else says, whether him or Mitsuhide, or even Klaus, understood?
Hey little guy.
[Holds up a little bit of fire and moves to take the dragon, with a glance at Ari for permission.] If I give you my ring while we talk, can I get it back? [Chin tickles! And very warm hand pets!]
[To Ari without looking up, still tending to Seiryu because even if she thinks it's ridiculous, it's clear to Nobunaga that the dragon is taking this as hard as both the "parents." So he gently plays with the dragon to get him to calm down so he can rock him to sleep.]
I wouldn't say he was complaining. I think he needed someone to tell him he's allowed to feel things, whatever they may be. But I snapped at him. I knew he was feeling weak, but it's always my reflex to yell "get stronger," as if it's that instantly just a choice.
[Tickle tickle tickle!!]
I do still mean what I said. [About Kyo being a baby and immature.] But [Gently rocks Seiryu on one arm, half playing, half luring.] He wouldn't have been told it's okay to feel things before. This is something the monks are strong about. The idea of zen and not allowing for emotions. Instead, people just lock them up, or become like me and don't understand them.
[Or see it as weakness. A furrowed brow frown.] I think you're both hurting a lot right now and -- it's okay if you don't feel it. Because I never did. Never. Mitsuhide and I took damage and just kept going. Always. We have to. As soldiers. And Klaus just kept telling me it was there, and it was only when he could take some away that I noticed the difference, do you understand?
And I don't think... you were ever told, at least, I was never told, and Shiranui wasn't; it's okay to have that pain. It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you went through a lot. It's proof of your strength, like scars, because you survived. And it's okay not to want it anymore, to fear things that cause that pain again.
Mahhh... well, I tried. I'm sure I'm not the best man for the situation, but then someone else just has to do better, and I'll learn from them.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-16 10:41 pm (UTC)[So now she wants to talk about Mitsuhide? Nice distraction. Seiryu's very happy with all the attention though and does seem to cheer up a bit. He's holding that ring tight in his little claws now though so good luck getting it back!]
Oh, Shiranui doesn't have any trouble feeling things. [Ari looks at Seiryu.] Shiranui fussed over talking to and cuddling an egg, called himself Seiryu's parent. Ridiculous, right? And you know how I feel about animals. It was for his sake that I agreed to the joint contract to look after a dragon. Now look at us - he left because of even more feelings, told me Seiryu's my full responsibility now. And I took it on, because I don't break contract, even if it's tough.
[Nobunaga will have seen the affection she treats Seiryu with! She's not cold about it. She just conceptualises it very differently.]
Maybe what you're saying is true about you, and maybe him, but not me. I'm not hurting right now. And I'm not secretly hurting and not knowing it! That's just a way to make your theory work instead of admitting people are different and we react differently to things. This is nothing, Oda. Really nothing. You've seen my weaknesses. You've seen me afraid. You've seen me despairing. Days when I was just angry I couldn't die. If I've got to worry about scars I can't see, they're sure not going to be coming from some Earther who didn't value me in the same way I valued him.
I told you about emotions on the Tradelines before, didn't I? Having them is fine, but you've got to be able to control them when you need to. Imagine if when I'd started I'd just cried every time Savitskaya raised her voice, what kind of a useless soldier would that have made me? You have to be strong to survive what we've been through, and that means having self-control. But I'm not suppressing some terrible hurt right now. I'm angry at him, maybe.
What are you drinking tonight?
no subject
Date: 2023-06-17 12:57 am (UTC)Mitsuhide's just testing limits. His job is to isolate threats to me. I do more embarrassing things to myself constantly. He wasn't -- [DRINKS!]
[Hoarsely:] Out of line.
I'd rather he treated me like a -- [Squints. PLAYS WITH SEIRYU!] Comrade. Shipmate. You said once it would be a problem if he treated you irreverently, but as I said then, he does that to everyone. He is careful with me, because I am a lot rougher.... rougher... right I'm more likely to stab him. [Bluntly looking her in the eyes before back to playing with Seiryu.] But our dream Tayrey... our contract, if you will, was to see Japan to peace, to end the civil wars. To start that kind of a world, even if he had to kill me to do it.
That dream is achieved. Our contract changes now. I don't know his new motivations yet. His new ambition. I doubt he knows it yet. I doubt it's fully sunk in the impact that we succeeded, against all odds, and what that means for us. Imagine if I could only return you to the Tradelines not at the right time, but not for another 40 years into the future of your timeline. It would take you a bit to adjust, right? And with Mitsuhide... his job if we finished, when we finished... was to still help Hideyoshi and come get me if I needed it or keep me in the shadows. So I'm sure he's thinking how to do that here.
Ahhh, not that I'm trying to defend him to you or anything. I warned him how you almost shot Yato, so not to prank you too much if at all. Wait. Did I say that on the ship or here? I will tell him again.
[He listens quietly to the rest about Shiranui, tickling under Seiryu's chin.] You don't even talk to him? Tayrey, all animals need their minds exercised as much as every other muscle. In the egg just gets them started on learning to hear even before hatching. Very smart.
Angry is... understandable.
Rum. You want some?
Shiranui and I feel things. Deeply, yes. But our society says we shouldn't even feel them.
Your society says to keep it behind closed doors and choose the timing. Your way is better, but because we didn't grow up with it, we just get overwhelmed. Trying not to feel, or not to let it overcome us. The monks meditate to prevent it, but we hate meditation, and therefore... [Shrug. So it just beats them inside out.]
Dragons are very important to the outcasts of Japan. You've seen his tattoo. I told you tattoos make you an untouchable in Japan. It's not just an animal. Dragons either don't exist in my world or I spent my life looking for them as much as oni. Dragons -- it's not just religious. It's cultural identity. Kitsune are the avatar of a Japanese god, Inari, the most popular one in Yato's world, not including Amaterasu herself, our sun. Shiranui will surely come back for him when he's ready. [More tickles under Seiryu's chin.]
I don't think that Shiranui hurt you. Much. Not enough that I was concerned and speaking of that.
I think being on the ship hurt you.
And that's understandable. It'd be... unnatural if it didn't. If you said you were just too strong for it to do that, I'd say then you're not you. You'd no longer be the Tayrey that went to the ship. The first day I met you, your biggest fear was you-know-whats and what they might do.
When I mentioned kidnapping, I was thinking of something that happened on the ship, a way I could have tried to make it less bad on you, and saying "that will never happen again," isn't good enough.
There's nothing in life that happens that you can't use to your benefit. If there's only one lesson you learn from Sun Tzu, let it be that. Life doesn't happen to you, you happen to life. It's not enough for me to return you to your proper time with your memories so that it's truly this version of yourself, I want you returned better and stronger than before, with more than just unarmed combat knowledge. So that you are grateful everything happened because you're more you for it.
Don't rush it. It can't be rushed. I know you want to get back as soon as you can, but this takes more time, so I'm glad we have it here.
You said you would shoot anyone who tried to kidnap you.
You know I've been kidnapped before, right? I don't just mean the ship, since I don't even view it the same way. You don't think that makes me weak, do you?
I don't want you to look at the ship and see it as the worst thing that ever happened to you. Just bad luck because a freak incident. And I don't want you think Earth is just all about kidnapping and lack of freedom. There's a lot of freedom. You've met C- bad example. [Klaus...? Ehhhhhhhhh... He holds up a hand.] Actually maybe it is. Fuck it. [CHUG!]
Okay. It's not that it's lack of freedom for everyone. It's that there's a constant -- I'm being poetic with this term war on whether people have their freedoms or what is in violation of that. Understood? [Pinches between his brows. Nods!] I appreciate you're as strong as Hideyoshi and willing to commit a large number of homicides to protect me. I do. [SMILES. It's sad that he means that....] But you know... generally try not to. Because even if you justify it as clear enemy combatants, and tyrants, and monsters, it's best for both of us if we can use even the kidnappers for our own gains. It's like how I don't see the ship as kidnapping me, I see it as, I used that to hitch a ride to where I really want to go.
And I think you were -- don't get me wrong. [Holds a hand up.] Understandably,, all right? I think you were understandably worried about all of it, the rights, the freedoms, the kidnapping, the sheer volume of [Holds up a hand of fire and playing with Seiryu, puts it out and grabs the dragon with the one hand when he tries to pounce it, tickling him again.] let's call it "pain" rather than argue over defining it, agreed? Pain, scars, memories, all of it. I think that got in the way of you seeing Shiranui's own -- [A headtilt. Pain. Worry. Fears. Trauma.] all that was going on internally. I know you would have caught it normally where I wouldn't have. [Taps a finger to his head.] I'm not that smart regarding that. That's why I messed up. But if I'm getting in the way of you or him, that's unforgiveable.
no subject
Date: 2023-06-17 05:25 am (UTC)He doesn't think so highly of you. He thinks that unless other people control you, you will literally gorge yourself until your health is completely gone and people attack Azuchi because of it. He accused me of wanting to let that happen. But I know what your dreams mean to you and that you are not some animal with no self-control just because you like to eat sweets. You know how to prioritise. And if someone wants to weaken a leader then publicly talking about him as if he's a child and having people suggest ways to punish him does actual direct reputational damage.
[She laughs.] I think I called him disrespectful and insubordinate. [More seriously.] He called me a pirate. A nanban pirate, whatever that is. Did you tell him that was a way to hurt me? Because it didn't make a lot of sense otherwise. Maybe seeing me as some... phantom threat to Azuchi gave him a way to hold to his old contract, something familiar at a time where very little is.
[She'd told herself she wouldn't take that route again, try to understand why he was being so insulting instead of just writing him off - but Nobunaga's explanation means that she can't help but see it another way.
She nods when he mentions the rum, and signals to the bartender. The first shot of it she downs straight away, and then asks for more.
Ari does follow his explanation about the dragon, up to a point, but when Nobunaga mentions Shiranui returning when he's ready, her expression darkens.] No. No, he doesn't get to say he is breaching contract and leaving me with all the work and then return whenever he damn well feels like and expect it to be like nothing happened. I won't be treated that way. Seiryu is mine now. That was his decision, which he gave me no say in, and so he can live with the results.
[Another nod. Yes, being on the ship hurt her. She wouldn't tell this to Arthur, a stranger, but how can she deny it to Nobunaga who saw the worst of it?
Then he mentions being grateful and Tayrey just- her breath catches in her throat. There's a great churning wave of anger rushing right over her, because how could he? She raises a hand, and for a brief moment it looks like she might slam it down on the table. Or curl it into a fist and slam it into him.
No. No. It's a test. A test so very much harder than little apprentice Tayrey trying to hold back her tears when Savitskaya was especially sharp with her, but a test that a qualified Tradeliner shouldn't fail. She'd said she had control, so he's testing her. In public. Tayrey doesn't hit anyone or anything, but to her horror, that raised hand starts visibly shaking. Alright. Fix that. Hands in her lap, clasped tight. There, is that enough proof?]
I will never, ever, be grateful for being kidnapped and tortured. No. It doesn't make a person stronger. It does damage. Damage that I have to fight now because if I don't it'll lose me my place on the Tradelines. And I'm right that it will never happen again. Hopefully because I shoot anyone who tries. If not-
I never told you what happened when Crichton came to my ship, did I? I hadn't been there very long. Savitskaya was teaching me inward transition - how to know when to bring a ship out of L-space. Crichton distracted us and neither of us saw the sensor blip that meant there was an unknown ship in-system. Pirates. It was - Crichton was very brave, and he helped me to be, but I said to him, if it goes bad, you don't let them take me captive. You do what you have to, make it quick for me. I made him promise, and he did. You've seen war, you know all the things an enemy with no respect for rights could do to an apprentice girl. [And why Ari, who faced up to that at barely fourteen and fought the pirates anyway, is so affronted by Mitsuhide saying she's one of them.]
The ship wasn't... it wasn't that kind of open brutality, but it was a different type of torture. Most people couldn't face up to it. Eternal suffering if you don't escape - but they couldn't look ahead, so they just said oh this is better than home or not terrible right now and didn't want to consider that life on the ship is a tiny tiny blip compared to eternal Nothing. I had a more objective assessment.
[But this is irrelevant. It's over. It doesn't matter what either of them thought of that ship. If Nobunaga wants to look back and be grateful he was kidnapped - well, she has more decency than to ask about the other times. If he was tortured. If he was grateful for what they did to him. This is supposed to be about Shiranui, no?]
You're right that I was hurt. You're wrong that what I told Shiranui is the product of that hurt and not of sound reasoning. He told me that he assisted in trying to kidnap some innocent woman. If I wanted to speak out of pain I'd have told him that it was morally repugnant and he'd be executed on the Tradelines, no? Instead I did my best to understand, to see why it happened, to see that he regrets it now, and to respond calmly. But that's closed-minded to him still, because I didn't smile and say oh, violating women's rights is part of your culture, so I have no problem with it.
He told me he felt I was mocking him about the hunting, because I said no, and for him doing things like that is care. Doing things people didn't ask for or want. I explained to him again about fair contract. I'm happy to have his help under fair contract! Not to fall in his debt for things I didn't even want him to do. Like that man who wouldn't let me pay for the clothes he wanted to make me, so I had to say I'd do without them. But then - then it turns out Shiranui had this whole fantasy about going back to the Tradelines with me and being my contracted partner. Something he never once mentioned. Never thought that how I felt about it might matter. I'm supposed to be happy? I spent all that time with him thinking he was my valued friend and comrade, like you are. Shipmates. I thought that like you he understood that's the highest honor I can give an outsider, as a Tradeliner. He outright said he wanted more.
I wouldn't take him to the Tradelines. If he'd asked on the ship I'd have said yes, because I just saw a man who loved freedom and was willing to fight for it. Now - can you imagine how he'd be, trailing after me while I try to advance to command and he's stuck with - I don't even know what he could do on a starship, cleaning? I'm not in love with him. He'd give up his whole life wanting something from me that I couldn't give him, how long before that would turn to resentment and blame? As if I'd asked him to do it.
He doesn't understand me at all. Right before he left he told me I could have the contents of his house. Here, Tayrey, a great big unpayable debt to hang around your neck so you feel obligated to me and can do nothing about it! After I'd only just explained about that. I'm leaving it all there. I'm going to move somewhere else and take only my own things. Oh, but I'll put up the pulleys first. In case anyone else ever wants to live there. He said too - he's sure I can find someone else to put it up for me. As if I hadn't worked with him on every stage from drawings upwards! As if I couldn't understand how it worked, or was too weak or incapable to do it. That was what he took from me having his help with it in fair contract. Not that we were friends working together. [And to think Nobunaga wanted her to show vulnerability to him, how much lower would Shiranui's opinion of her have dropped then?]
[That's a lot of talking! Time for more drinking.]
1/?
Date: 2023-06-17 05:57 am (UTC)[That is part of his job. To seem like obviously likely to betray him. But SAYING THAT would undermine Mitsuhide completely.]
Well you know, Klaus in my world was saying how he reins me in like Hideyoshi. And I couldn't for the life of me understand what he meant. The first two months I was on the ship, before you arrived, I did worry I would do whatever I wanted. Because I didn't have an army to protect. I ate nothing but ice cream and tried new things and kissed people's foreheads and Erin was -- doing a monk thing, and at first it reminded me of Hideyoshi, so I just wanted to be near it, because I missed him, but I interrupted her because I didn't want her to hurt herself.
If it wasn't for Klaus reining me in -- understand, he's not taking away my freedom, but reminding me that long term still matters even if it's not applicable to Japan.
I don't care about myself, I do care a lot about other people. Ah, keep that secret for my reputation. But Klaus knew, [Snaps his fingers with a small fire spark for more dragon entertainment.] like that, that I need someone to remind me... I'm not the king of all worlds yet. At home, I can do whatever I want. But it's all very Lion King. With that comes a lot of understanding about the cost. New place, no cost. It's you who reminds me if we don't have equal exchange then I'm just a tyrant, and the cost is just all the more steep in the future.
2/?
Date: 2023-06-17 06:02 am (UTC)[But he flinches about the pirate, and his red eyes widen.]
I would never.
3/?
Date: 2023-06-17 06:08 am (UTC)Give me three minutes, no questions, just silence, to tell you word for word what I said here not there. I have to work harder to sort it, because it was right after he drank the potion and I was still annoyed about that.
[Closes his eyes. Pulls at stardust.]
4/?
Date: 2023-06-17 06:35 am (UTC)"She is at least on par with you for intellect. Don't worry about her naivete, she is stronger than she thinks or gives herself credit for. I strongly advise you do your best to get on her good side as best as you can because there is much even I can't explain," about space and stars, I told him some of that here and there. As best I could. "But she can. Shiranui is from our homeland, but 200 years later. He's her Mitsunari, but with guns instead of books." Ishida is Hideyoshi's vassal. "They both love guns, though this place seems to have taken our weapons. Tayrey will be very blunt and honest with you, like drunk Hideyoshi. She loves maps. But she's used to strict roles and constant work and purpose. Like Toyotomi."
[Ugh more drinking. Last shot.]
5/?
Date: 2023-06-17 06:42 am (UTC)Hideyoshi-
Obviously I could order Hideyoshi not to, but he lectures me, and it's annoying, so he does not let me have konpeito whenever I want. I'd run out if I did anyway. So I do... did sneak down with my haori over my head and practice anti-ninja training, because I also had to be sneaky to get past Hideyoshi guarding me against assassins.
I'm totally stealthy. [Stubborn armfold.] Klaus went with me on one raid so I was able to trick Hideyoshi to bed.
[Wait. What was the point????]
6/?
Date: 2023-06-17 06:55 am (UTC)I'm sorry Lieutenant. I don't know what he intended. I don't think he would have tried to hurt you after what I said. Not even if he's jealous and worried or angry that I seemingly replaced my right hand. There have been times I worried Hideyoshi might kill Mitsuhide, but never vice versa. Mitsuhide is very fond of Hideyoshi and would go well out of his way to help him at great personal cost.
Maybe he is upset about Hideyoshi. I don't... think he thought the best way to get on your good side was the great candy debate of Somnius. [Titling this now to bring some levity to it.] But I don't really know. You asked about people's homelands too. Maybe he felt the balance was off. He's always been my left, so I thought he both didn't want to risk me thinking I could flirt with him without suffering repercussions I would never want to deal with, and just trying to balance you out a little. But I can't promise that. I truly don't know.
I didn't mention pirates to him. If I had, I want to think he wouldn't have said that, wouldn't have even dared, contract change or not. [Fist over heart.] But right now? I don't know.
7/8
Date: 2023-06-17 07:12 am (UTC)I understand.
[Oh he's fucked up even bigger now.]
[He listens in total silence. Crichton's promise, the reason she will never be grateful. And fair. Very very fair. Nobunaga has been tortured yes. Granted, he wasn't as extreme as Klaus, but...]
[He gets it.]
[No. He's not grateful that he was betrayed or tortured. He never will be.]
Ah????
Part of your culture... it's not... cultural heritage to kidnap??? Um...
[Fuck him.]
I mean we call it--
No. Continue.
[He cannot defend "What's a little kidnapping now and again?" She's completely fucking right, and Hideyoshi, of all people would smack Nobunaga upside the head. "No kidnapping!"]
8/8 done! Whew
Date: 2023-06-17 07:53 am (UTC)[If the oni had tried harder with Nobunaga-- he told him Ari always gives him her 100%! At least Oda could have tried, said anything at all that she didn't already see or know.]
[But he doesn't have that knowledge.]
[She's right. Period.]
Kanpai.
[Just clicks his empty glass against hers.]
I'd make him my bodyguard. But there would be years between me establishing enough money to get a crew and sorting out the best policies and loopholes, and then having enough capital to make it profitable even after your contract ends. But at this point I don't think he wants --
That.
I think after Japan, after being treated like less than human his whole life, that's why he was scared, you know? He had to hide being an oni, and people would fear everything about that -- [Sigh.] You mean a lot to him, but I'm not sure he sees the real you. You're kind of like a goddess, remember? Celestial realm, the stars. You have all these grand visions of how people should be, a way that Earth just... isn't. Here, surrounded by non-humans, he said he's really happy to be useful, and not viewed suspiciously. He didn't view your questions honestly, and I said that's on him. But I still feel responsible [Hand up.] -- Whether I am or not, because I didn't explain tp you the castes I worked tirelessly to destroy. I worked to. I didn't succeed. Not... completely. And not for centuries. And his time slid backwards from what I even got.
That doesn't excuse him. If he really [Love. The big L-word that Americans throw around casually. Nobunaga loves Tayrey. She loves him too, platonically, as a Captain. But they both knew how much deeper nakama means than sex.]
[Carefully:] Had any capacity to, he should have tried to talk it through. And yeah that's my own fucking bias from Klaus, but as soon as I had the strength, I tried to. It hurt more than anything, but I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
You're really okay though? You don't need someone to... I don't know. [Face scrunch.] Have I mentioned how smart an ending date on partnership contracts is? I mean my parents wouldn't have gone for it. Gozen woukd have stabbed Nobuhide if he tried to leave her. [Casually. No big deal.] And Klaus and I just have ours rolling. But is there ever a protocol or tradition for contract breaches besides exile and fines? I mean for the person "injured." That's a legal term. Have I ever told you about Japan's legal system? You'd liiiike it. Even though the castes are stupid.
[Blink blink. He's not drunk.] I get like this with Hideyoshi when I've been drinking. [Like he's not like this when he's not.]
In contracts, if a person breaches, the one who didn't breach is called "injured" That's why I understood when people kept talking about trauma, but not cuts. So is there... protocol among friends or family? Like um.
[Tries to think what they do in Japan. He's got nothing. Fines and stuff, sure whatever, but that's about the criminal. See also: branding, tattoos, moving on.]
We could have a te-- coffee ceremony. Or a cleansing... thing. [Face scrunch because that sounds pseudo religious and gross more than symbolic.] Oh! Sometimes women and samurai cut their hair. In Korea a topknot means you're married. I asked Klaus if he wanted me to go with that and he said no, but when a person gets -- still alive but a break from their life they cut the length of hair for how long they were part of it to start fresh.
So like.... [Holds his fingers up to hopefully make her laugh or smile, though it's more the kind of joke Valdis liked.] This much?
1/? <3
Date: 2023-06-17 03:06 pm (UTC)To me saying someone is there to rein you in is insulting. I can see you don't mean it that way at all, about Klaus, but it's... more control. Maybe it's just that if you were from my sector you'd make the same arrangements by contract so it'd be clear that you agreed. Remember when I didn't like you playing Siffleur's game? I went to contract. And if I didn't convince you, you'd have been within your rights to say no Tayrey, don't try to restrict me, and I'd have had to accept that your life was yours to throw away and didn't belong to me. Even if I hated what you were doing.
[But she shakes her head when he assures her he didn't tell Mitsuhide about her trouble with pirates, and reaches out to lay a gentle hand on his arm. She's about to speak up and explain, but then he asks for three minutes, and of course she'll give him that! No interrupting.
He is far more complimentary about her than she expected! Of course being a perfectionist she worries that he calls her naive, but in a way that's good, too, because if it had been all positive things then she'd assume he just left out all the negative ones in the retelling. By the end of his explanation she's blushing a little, looking proud.]
You're very kind to me, telling him those things. I'm sorry I wasn't precise! I know you'd never tell Mitsuhide about pirates thinking that he should use it against me. I thought you might have mentioned it for neutral reasons and he'd have drawn the conclusion that it was a good way to insult or upset me. The same with talking about magic. Or even that you warned him against it but he did the opposite, because that wouldn't really surprise me very much.
[It's not the last shot, she's totally buying them more!]
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